Ok, so you wake in the morning. Deciding on the just the right footwear is a tough decision. You have to ask yourself, "What do I want people to think I am listening to on my Ipod?" If it's Candlebox, you already know the correct choice. That's right dust off those docs and lace them up. But let's say you want to get modern...I mean it's 2007. And how many people on the L train are really ALTing out to Metallica or Marilyn Manson. So let's see what our other options are...I mean after all, you just downloaded that new Kaiser Chiefs (illegally, of course), or you ran out over the weekend to get the new Deerhunter. Maybe you finally got that Interpol CD back from your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend who broke your heart. That's right, you're a modern day ALT! So here are your footwear choices:
Choice #1: Vans Slip-Ons
I mean, you see a pair of these and you know for a fact, this dude went to Misshapes this past weekend. If not that, they had at least one cup of coffee was had at Verb Cafe. And if he (or she) were to brake out their Ipod, they could battle of ALTest of the modern day ALTs for most non-mainstream playlist. A similarity, as with it's predecessor, the Chuck Taylor All-Stars, the more broken in the shoes are, the more ALT. Extra points if a toe is exposed. Double bonus if a bare toe is coming through because of a hole in your sock!
Choice #2: The Urban Cowboy/Cowgirl
I mean we all know that you just came from the Wild West, rode your horse all the way to Manhattan, fighting off bank robbers and outlaws, to get to your part time temp office-photocopying job. I'm sure you are making your Mom and Dad proud! You can show them pictures of you at all the best parties, possibly topless, definitely wasted and/or high. You made it! I mean, at least you're not sitting on your ass at home, collecting your trust fund interest. No, you are making something of yourself. You're saying, "Mom...Dad...I'm ALT!" New ALTs are responsible. Sure, their parents are still paying for your one bedroom apartment in Williamsburg (let's not be ridiculous), but at least you have a job. It's your first one ever, but how else are you going to pay for beer once the open bars are over?
Choice #3: White DJ Shoes
Seriously at the top of all modern day ALTs! Not only are you going to all the parties and know the music, but you are throwing the parties and playing all the jams. Damn, you are one step away for being in backpack ads, MTV and really not needing that trust fund anymore. There is no doubt that you are a force to be reckoned with.
Although there are a lot of similarities between OLD SKOOL and NEW SKOOL, the one main difference is the lack of gender specific shoes. Both guys and girls can wear any of these. I guess the ALTs of today have evolved in that sense. They are blurring the gender lines in many ways. This topic will be revisited in future posts, no need to worry. In the meantime, STAY ALT!!
4 comments:
Is leaving bottles strewn all over the kitchen floor considered ALT? Please let me know because I don't want to be a non-ALT.
thanks for all the alt advice! i had a very ALT weekend due to your help!! I drove to a house party listening to collective soul on the radio, wearing a baby doll shirt over jeans and mary janes! Then i got totally wasted and started screaming at people telling them about how ALT their shoes were! (or how not ALT if that was the case)
you know what's super ALT, going through your own closet looking at the three pairs of shoes you own and declaring them to be the precipice of ALT-NESS. those white shoes look familar...
Man, I totally ALTed out this weekend. I went to Cakeshop to see Titus Andronicus, who definitely could have played Lalapalooza, but not on the MAIN stage.
no, they are too ALT for that.
I also got wasted on ALT drinks like Vodka Soda and Sake.
That's pretty ALT.
Post a Comment