Wednesday, February 20, 2008

re-ALT day 1!

I've been feeling that most bands these days are in the reALT process...the stage where they need to release 3 albums of garbage, so I'm going to reALT myself and only listen to classic ALT records...any suggestions?

Day One:

man this is some great stuff! listening to this didn't make me feel bad about losing my hair. I mean, I'm not as old as these guys.

this is an oldie but a goodie! listening to this didn't make me feel bad about my aching back. I'm definitely nowhere near as old as these guys!

a sure shot classic! I have been rocking this one since like 9th grade! god I was so cool then and had so much potential...starting to get depressed now.

I remember the first time hearing this one...I hadn't kissed a girl then, and...not much has changed.

that opening riff from 'Only Shallow' will blast the few remaining hairs right off the top of your head. jesus christ!

IT'S TIME FOR A RE-ALT!!

I'm not sure if I dropped some knowledge about this subject yet to you guys, so excuse me if you're heard this before....

Re-alt is a term that stands for, becoming alternative again. We have seen many instances where someone has re-alted themselves. But I think the best case study of this phenomenon is the band Nada Surf.



Case point #1: Nada Surf releases High/Low (1996). "Popular" becomes a mega hit, foreseeing the possibility of being a one-hit wonder! It's placed in the MTV buzz bin. INSTANTLY MAIN!

Case point #2: Now that they are MAIN, they are completely abandoned by the ALTS. And therefore totally not cool.

These guys are in serious need of a re-ALT! And this is how they did it...

Step 1: Realize that you're MAIN. Recognizing that there is a problem its the hardest yet most important part of a re-ALT.

Step 2: Release at least 3 albums of complete garbage. (IE, The Proximity Effect, Let Go, The Weight is a Gift)

Step 3: Put out a fresh new record on a respectable indie label. (IE, Barsuk)

Step 4: Relocate to an "ALT" neighborhood. (IE, Brooklyn) -I'm not sure of their original location, so I might be wrong about this, but there is nothing more ALT than Brooklyn.



And so now that the MAINS have completely forgotten about your one hit from 1996, you can re-emerge on the ALT scene. Because the fact that you were ALT-to-MAIN-back to ALT, is cool with ALTs. Great work guys!

Now the true test...is their new record good or just a feeble attempt at a re-ALT????

Are dreads the new crazy hair for White Indie-rock dudes????

...so many questions left unanswered, I feel like this is an episode of LOST!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

happy vALenTines day!



For all you ALTS out there who are alone and angsty this Valentine's Day, here is a list of MAIN love jams that are guaranteed to land you a supportive, gainfully employed MAIN to cuddle with you on the Upper East Side.

Say You Love Me - Fleetwood Mac

Open Arms - Journey

Unforgettable - Nat King Cole

Run to You - Brian Adams

My Girl - The Temptations

Love,
ALTernate on the 1992 ALTlympic Team

Monday, February 11, 2008

Hell Must Have Frozen Over!

If you had to ask yourself what are 2 things that Mom, I'm Alt would never be into...the answer would have to be folk music and Antony (and the Johnsons).

Well, I guess M.I.A.'s new motto should be never, say never.



First off, there has been a considerable amount of buzz about Bon Iver, but after receiving a copy in the mail today and figuring that I should at least give it a song or two before deciding that I hated it, so I put it in my computer. And before I knew it, I had listened to the whole thing! I'm not sure if it's because it's freezing outside and this is exactly what I'm in the mood for, but something struck me. Not sure if it was the gorgeous guitar melodies or the delicate vocals, but either way, this is good stuff. The more and more I listen, the more and more I become a fan boy! Don't worry Wisconsin, even though the Green Bay Packers didn't win a Super Bowl, at least you have Bon Iver and AWESOME CHEESE!

Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/boniver

MP3: Skinny Love (courtesy of R8E8R)

Buy IT:
@ INSOUND


...more about Antony in the next post! STAY TUNED!

Friday, February 8, 2008

BUY THIS SHIT!!




Consisting of three lovely French 20-somethings, lead singer Quentin Delafon, guitarist / synth man Dorian Dumont and bassist Michael Szpiner, The Teenagers are a band that could have only come from Paris. Their sound is built around a backbone of golden pop melodies, with a penchant for leftfield visioning - all enveloped in a sardonic wit and lingering Sofia Coppola soft focus. While the trio left their teenage years a few years ago, adolescence is a concept that cuts to the core of the group. They're in love with the idea of the dreamy teen, inspired by sunset walks through the park, clogging up shopping malls for no good reason, holding hands, and stolen kisses in the cinema.


THIS SHIT IS GOOD!

Indie Comedy = ALT?

Just incase most of you haven't realized, Indie comedians (for the most part) ARE NOT FUNNY!


I mean there are the occasional funny ones, like Flight of the Conchords are funny and ALT. Flannel shirts, cowboy shirts, dark rim glasses, messy hair...TOTALLY ALT!!





But for the tons of other ones, you need to hang it up. IMMEDIATELY! There is a reason why your show got cancelled...

Just because you dress like an ALT, doesn't mean that your material can suck. You still need jokes.

I understand what you are trying to do...you are basically trying to trick everyone into thinking you are funny. But just because you are into indie music, wear band t-shirts, make jokes about Pitchfork, come on. Those jokes were old like 7 years ago.

maybe put up a Craig's list posting, misconnection: me= ALT, you= actual FUNNY NEW MATERIAL. Just a thought.

Please spare us from your nonsense and tell us a funny joke. I mean if your joke is that you are fat...ok, that was funny when Chris Farley did it. It's 2008. You would think that something funnier would have happened to you between 1997 and now.



If anyone can point out a funny ALT comdian, I would love to check them out. But until then, M.I.A. is boycotting all of it.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

HOT NEW ALT TRACKS!!

Click here to download...

INSOUND'S LET'S GET DIGITAL 5

There's a lot of music coming out these days. Sometimes it's pretty hard figuring out what's good and what's not. That's why we created our digital sampler series Let's Get Digital, a highlight of the best new music coming out, curated by the indie-loving fools that we are.

It's with great joy that we unveil the new, pumped up edition: Let's Get Digital 5.

With tracks by Hot Chip, Xiu Xiu, British Sea Power, Dub Trio, Ida, The Big Sleep and more, this won't just get you through the dark days of winter - it'll get you through your entire life! We've also got an exclusive unreleased track by our buddies (and NYC faves) The Pains of Being Pure at Heart.

Did we mention it's free?

So download Let's Get Digital 5 now!

Faunts "M4 (Part II)"
from the album M4
Courtesy of Friendly Fire Recordings
http://www.friendlyfirerecordings.com/
http://www.faunts.com/

Rings "Mom Dance"
from the album Black Habit
Courtesy of Paw Tracks
http://www.paw-tracks.com/
http://www.myspace.com/firstnationlove

Hot Chip "Shake A Fist"
from the album Made In The Dark
Courtesy of Astralwerks/DFA
http://www.astralwerks.com/
http://www.hotchip.co.uk/

Dub Trio "Bay vs. Leonard"
from the album Another Sound Is Dying
Courtesy of Ipecac Recordings
http://www.ipecac.com/
http://www.dubtrio.com

The Big Sleep "Pinkies"
from the album Sleep Forever
Courtesy of Frenchkiss Records
http://www.frenchkissrecords.com/
http://www.myspace.com/sonofthetiger

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart "A Teenager in Love"
from the album unreleased
Courtesy of Painbow Records
http://www.thepainsofbeingpureatheart.com/
http://www.myspace.com/thepainsofbeingpureatheart

British Sea Power "Waving Flags"
from the album “Do You Like Rock Music?”
Courtesy of Rough Trade / Worlds Fair Label Group
http://worlds-fair.net/british_sea_power/
http://myspace.com/britishseapower

Mike Ladd "Trouble Shot"
from the album Nostalgialator
Courtesy of Definitive Jux
http://www.definitivejux.net/
http://www.myspace.com/mikeladdf

Thao "Beat (Health, Life, and Fire)"
from the album We Brave Bee Stings and All
Courtesy of Kill Rock Stars
http://www.killrockstars.com/
http://www.thaomusic.com/

Hey Willpower "Hundredaire"
from the album PDA
Courtesy of Tomlab
http://www.tomlab.com/
http://www.heywillpower.com/

Xiu Xiu "I Do What I Want, When I Want"
from the album Women As Lovers
Courtesy of Kill Rock Stars
http://www.killrockstars.com/
http://xiuxiu.org/

Ida "Lovers Prayers"
from the album Lovers Prayers
Courtesy of Polyvinyl Record Co.
http://www.polyvinylrecords.com
http://www.idamusic.com

China Forbes "Everybody Needs Somebody"
from the album '78
Courtesy of Heinz Records
http://www.chinaforbes.com
http://www.chinaforbes.com

Bob Mould "The Silence Between Us"
from the album District Line
Courtesy of ANTI-
http://www.anti.com
http://bobmould.com/

Panther "Puerto Rican Jukebox"
from the album 14 Kt. God
Courtesy of Kill Rock Stars
http://www.killrockstars.com/
http://www.panthertouch.com/

Friday, February 1, 2008

How to make it as an "ALT" band

Alright ladies and gents, I have it all figured out. Basically there are 3 rules to remember before picking up that guitar and striking that first chord.

#1. No one actually cares!
-This is a big one, hence the reason why its first. Let's face it. You got a good review today, forgotten about tomorrow. You play a show here, play a show there. When it all comes down to it, does anyone actually care? Maybe this is why so many people in bands, unsuccessful ones most of all, act like turds. They are probably just so sick and tired of writing dumb songs and recording record after record and no ones paying attention. It's all because of this golden rule. Sorry guys.

#2. You need to trick them!
-This is key! Take a look at you and your songs. Both probably suck, but not everyone has to know it. If you are a total loser, just be confident, go buy some skinny jeans, an all-over print hoodie and some Nikes and you're set. Instant hipness! Now on to the music. You know it, your band knows it and I know it...its terrible. All you need to do if make it Lo-fi! Crank the treble remove everything else and you're set. You guys suck at playing your instruments? Become a noise experimental band! Sick!

#3. Finally, and this one often gets over looked, BLAST IT OFF!
-Now I know what you're thinking...this might sound contradictory to rule number 1, but it also involves a little bit of rule number 2. On the event that you might find someone who cares, you need to blast it in their faces that you're cool. The more people see you and your band name, you might actually trick them into thinking your good and cool.

Follow these rules and I can guarantee 100% that some blog might post about you and then you've made it. HIGH FIVE.

*Note this rules apply to more then just being in a band, it's a way of life.