Tuesday, February 27, 2007

TEMPLE OF THE DOG DESTROYS!



Ok, so everyone knows the power that is Grunge, Seattle, Singles and all that is ALT. All of these powers came together once, to form the most powerful supergroup of ALT-time! Combine 4 parts Pearl Jam with 2 parts Soundgarden, and basically you are UNSTOPPABLE! Their powers were immeasurable and no one could stand in their way! NO ONE! In a sort of Mortal Kombat-esque tournament that once occurred in Seattle, it featured Temple of the Dog defending their ALT-ability against 3 of the most worthy opponents...Junior Mafia, Zwan and Audioslave, in 3 epic battles, last man standing. Here's how the matches played out:

Match #1:

Temple of the Dog


Vs.

Junior Mafia


TOTD is going hungry, and they need some something to satisfy their thirst for BLOOD!!! Junior Mafia is fat and definitely not starving. So basically, TOTD steps in the realm of Junior Mafia and feeds Lil'Kim's fake boobs to Biggie while stompin' on Lil' Cease. Easily PWND!

Match #2:

Temple of the Dog


vs.

Zwan


Zwan, now this is a tough one. Eddie and the boys had to work on their teamwork wrestling moves for this. The match starts off with Eddie throwing Billy against the ropes, attempting to put Billy in a headlock, but little did he know Jimmy Chamberlin greased up Billy's head, making it impossible to grab a hold of him. Luckily Billy's reversal was totally foiled because, Zwan as a team is unable to harness its true potential (Jimmy was getting high, and the other dudes just completely bailed), proving that they totally suck! TOTD once again prevails!


Match #3:

Temple of the Dog


vs.

Audioslave


Most worthy adversary by far...Audioslave even went so to clone Chris Cornell for their evil plans, but instead of cloning the "Outshined/Rusty Cage/Jesus Christ Pose" Chris Cornell, they cloned wussass "Spoonman/Black Hole Sun" Chris Cornell. Fatal mistake! Not even tagging Zach De La Rocha into the ring could help them here. He's been out of the game too long and is way too rusty (and not like in a rusty cage sort of way).

Thus proving that TEMPLE OF THE DOG DESTROYS ALL!! and YOU CAN'T FUCK WITH TOTD!

Temple Of The Dog Stats:

Line-up:

* Jeff Ament - bass guitar
* Matt Cameron - drums, percussion
* Chris Cornell - banjo, harmonica, vocals, guitar
* Stone Gossard - rhythm guitar, slide guitar, acoustic guitar
* Mike McCready - lead guitars
* Eddie Vedder - backing vocals ("Pushin Forward Back," "Your Saviour," "Four Walled World"), vocals ("Hunger Strike," "Wooden Jesus")

From Wikipedia..

"Temple of the Dog was started by Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell. After the death of his former roommate, Mother Love Bone singer Andrew Wood, Cornell wrote two songs in tribute: "Say Hello 2 Heaven" and "Reach Down". Cornell approached Wood's former bandmates, Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament, with the intention of releasing the songs as a single. The band's lineup was completed by the addition of Soundgarden drummer Matt Cameron and future Pearl Jam lead guitarist Mike McCready. The band started rehearsing the songs, as well as re-working some existing material from demos written by Gossard, Ament, and Cameron. One such demo became a song for two bands, recorded as "Footsteps" for Pearl Jam and as "Times of Trouble" for Temple of the Dog. These rehearsals soon led to several new songs, and the planned single soon became a full album. The album and group became known as Temple of the Dog, after a lyric in the Mother Love Bone song, "Man of Golden Words".

Eddie Vedder, who had flown to Seattle to audition to be Pearl Jam's singer, ended up providing backing vocals. "Hunger Strike" became a duet between Cornell and Vedder. Cornell was having trouble with the vocals at practice, when Vedder stepped in. Cornell later said that "he sang half of that song not even knowing that I'd wanted the part to be there and he sang it exactly the way I was thinking about doing it, just instinctively."

1 comment:

hotdoorknobs said...

Junior Mafia is ALT?!?!??!?!?!?