MAIN vs. ALT...part 2

Main


Alt




Too obvious? Send me some suggestions...basically for everything their is a main version and an ALT version. Send me a topic and I'll tell you how to ALT it.

MAIN vs. ALT...part 1

Main


Alt

This Week In ALT!!

Damn, there isn't too much ALT shit happening this weekend, but if you want to get ALTERNATIVE and are tired of techno, come to SAVALAS!!

There is too much techno going around these days. STICK TO THE HITS!!! AND GET wAs(L)Ted!!



YEAHHHHHHHH!

M.I.A. Invades SXSW!!! DAY ONE!!

So guys, Jagga and myself rocked day one at SXSW. And let me tell you...this shit is ALT.

We saw tons of ALTS on the plane ride down, but as soon as we got in the thick of it all, is was ALT-MANIA!!

If you thought Williamsburg or the LES was ALTcentral, you haven't seen anything until you've been to Austin.

So to sum up day one, we saw these guys:



Hot Club de Paris
Saw them for like 2 seconds, but what we heard was AWESOME!



The Rapture
DESTROYED AS USUAL!!



The Big Sleep
Always AMAZING!

On a side note, M.I.A. is too damn ALT for the TSA! I was rocking my pistol belt buckle and they took it away! They said it looked too real. Wanna know what I think? The security dudes were jealous of my ALTness and are sweatin' my style. You fucks! It's all right though, guys. I'm in the Belt buckle/ALT mecca so I'm sure I'll be able to get a new one!

OLD STYLE:


NEW STYLE:

KEEP IT GANGSTA!!

STAY ALT!!

Justin Timberalt!!

Which of these videos is more ALT....you decide! After a final vote tally (coming from the comments left below), a winner will be crowned! Let the battle begin!

Sexy Back (Granny Cart Remix!!)


Sexy Back (Granny Cart remix) on Vimeo

Sexy Back (Zune Cart Remix featuring Whiney LESALT!!)

VICE is too ALT?

Mom, I'm ALT is down with VICE! VICE magazine tells it like it is and is definitely ALT! Apparently the Bloc Party isn't....read on here. What the hell?

People Are Listening To M.I.A!

For Vedder Or Worse, Here's Your Lollapalooza 2007 Headliner



The Chicago Sun-Times is reporting that Pearl Jam--one of the few bands not to be featured on our highly speculative Lollapalooza chart--will headline this year's festival in Chicago. That's the first major act to confirm, though our tip line has also indicated that lower-on-the-bill acts Rhymefest and David Vandervelde are also going to be there.

The movement is alive. STAY ALT!!

God Damn, We Are ALT!

There is a lot of ALT happenings happening, and I haven't been able to update, cause we've been packing orders here for this:





TRENT = FOREVER ALT!!

ALT HAPPENING #1:

Want a Free "An Inconvenient Truth" DVD? Just fill this out! AL GORE = Almost as ALT as Trent!

ALT HAPPENING #2:



And on a related note, check this out!

EMO = ALT!!

TEMPLE OF THE DOG DESTROYS!

Ok, so everyone knows the power that is Grunge, Seattle, Singles and all that is ALT. All of these powers came together once, to form the most powerful supergroup of ALT-time! Combine 4 parts Pearl Jam with 2 parts Soundgarden, and basically you are UNSTOPPABLE! Their powers were immeasurable and no one could stand in their way! NO ONE! In a sort of Mortal Kombat-esque tournament that once occurred in Seattle, it featured Temple of the Dog defending their ALT-ability against 3 of the most worthy opponents...Junior Mafia, Zwan and Audioslave, in 3 epic battles, last man standing. Here's how the matches played out:

Match #1:

Temple of the Dog


Vs.

Junior Mafia


TOTD is going hungry, and they need some something to satisfy their thirst for BLOOD!!! Junior Mafia is fat and definitely not starving. So basically, TOTD steps in the realm of Junior Mafia and feeds Lil'Kim's fake boobs to Biggie while stompin' on Lil' Cease. Easily PWND!

Match #2:

Temple of the Dog


vs.

Zwan


Zwan, now this is a tough one. Eddie and the boys had to work on their teamwork wrestling moves for this. The match starts off with Eddie throwing Billy against the ropes, attempting to put Billy in a headlock, but little did he know Jimmy Chamberlin greased up Billy's head, making it impossible to grab a hold of him. Luckily Billy's reversal was totally foiled because, Zwan as a team is unable to harness its true potential (Jimmy was getting high, and the other dudes just completely bailed), proving that they totally suck! TOTD once again prevails!


Match #3:

Temple of the Dog


vs.

Audioslave


Most worthy adversary by far...Audioslave even went so to clone Chris Cornell for their evil plans, but instead of cloning the "Outshined/Rusty Cage/Jesus Christ Pose" Chris Cornell, they cloned wussass "Spoonman/Black Hole Sun" Chris Cornell. Fatal mistake! Not even tagging Zach De La Rocha into the ring could help them here. He's been out of the game too long and is way too rusty (and not like in a rusty cage sort of way).

Thus proving that TEMPLE OF THE DOG DESTROYS ALL!! and YOU CAN'T FUCK WITH TOTD!

Temple Of The Dog Stats:

Line-up:

* Jeff Ament - bass guitar
* Matt Cameron - drums, percussion
* Chris Cornell - banjo, harmonica, vocals, guitar
* Stone Gossard - rhythm guitar, slide guitar, acoustic guitar
* Mike McCready - lead guitars
* Eddie Vedder - backing vocals ("Pushin Forward Back," "Your Saviour," "Four Walled World"), vocals ("Hunger Strike," "Wooden Jesus")

From Wikipedia..

"Temple of the Dog was started by Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell. After the death of his former roommate, Mother Love Bone singer Andrew Wood, Cornell wrote two songs in tribute: "Say Hello 2 Heaven" and "Reach Down". Cornell approached Wood's former bandmates, Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament, with the intention of releasing the songs as a single. The band's lineup was completed by the addition of Soundgarden drummer Matt Cameron and future Pearl Jam lead guitarist Mike McCready. The band started rehearsing the songs, as well as re-working some existing material from demos written by Gossard, Ament, and Cameron. One such demo became a song for two bands, recorded as "Footsteps" for Pearl Jam and as "Times of Trouble" for Temple of the Dog. These rehearsals soon led to several new songs, and the planned single soon became a full album. The album and group became known as Temple of the Dog, after a lyric in the Mother Love Bone song, "Man of Golden Words".

Eddie Vedder, who had flown to Seattle to audition to be Pearl Jam's singer, ended up providing backing vocals. "Hunger Strike" became a duet between Cornell and Vedder. Cornell was having trouble with the vocals at practice, when Vedder stepped in. Cornell later said that "he sang half of that song not even knowing that I'd wanted the part to be there and he sang it exactly the way I was thinking about doing it, just instinctively."

How Can I Become More ALT? (Part 2)

PART 2: NEW SKOOL ALT SHOES MALE/FEMALE!!

Ok, so you wake in the morning. Deciding on the just the right footwear is a tough decision. You have to ask yourself, "What do I want people to think I am listening to on my Ipod?" If it's Candlebox, you already know the correct choice. That's right dust off those docs and lace them up. But let's say you want to get modern...I mean it's 2007. And how many people on the L train are really ALTing out to Metallica or Marilyn Manson. So let's see what our other options are...I mean after all, you just downloaded that new Kaiser Chiefs (illegally, of course), or you ran out over the weekend to get the new Deerhunter. Maybe you finally got that Interpol CD back from your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend who broke your heart. That's right, you're a modern day ALT! So here are your footwear choices:

Choice #1: Vans Slip-Ons



I mean, you see a pair of these and you know for a fact, this dude went to Misshapes this past weekend. If not that, they had at least one cup of coffee was had at Verb Cafe. And if he (or she) were to brake out their Ipod, they could battle of ALTest of the modern day ALTs for most non-mainstream playlist. A similarity, as with it's predecessor, the Chuck Taylor All-Stars, the more broken in the shoes are, the more ALT. Extra points if a toe is exposed. Double bonus if a bare toe is coming through because of a hole in your sock!

Choice #2: The Urban Cowboy/Cowgirl



I mean we all know that you just came from the Wild West, rode your horse all the way to Manhattan, fighting off bank robbers and outlaws, to get to your part time temp office-photocopying job. I'm sure you are making your Mom and Dad proud! You can show them pictures of you at all the best parties, possibly topless, definitely wasted and/or high. You made it! I mean, at least you're not sitting on your ass at home, collecting your trust fund interest. No, you are making something of yourself. You're saying, "Mom...Dad...I'm ALT!" New ALTs are responsible. Sure, their parents are still paying for your one bedroom apartment in Williamsburg (let's not be ridiculous), but at least you have a job. It's your first one ever, but how else are you going to pay for beer once the open bars are over?

Choice #3: White DJ Shoes



Seriously at the top of all modern day ALTs! Not only are you going to all the parties and know the music, but you are throwing the parties and playing all the jams. Damn, you are one step away for being in backpack ads, MTV and really not needing that trust fund anymore. There is no doubt that you are a force to be reckoned with.

Although there are a lot of similarities between OLD SKOOL and NEW SKOOL, the one main difference is the lack of gender specific shoes. Both guys and girls can wear any of these. I guess the ALTs of today have evolved in that sense. They are blurring the gender lines in many ways. This topic will be revisited in future posts, no need to worry. In the meantime, STAY ALT!!

Are You A NYC ALT?

Then this weekend, go ALTSANE with us!

FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!THESE DUDES ARE ALTSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!



SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!THESE DUDES ARE TOTALLY ALT!!!!!!!!!!



Damn guys, this is going to be a great weekend! Especially after last night...seriously, KIP and I ALTed out more than anyone ever! Imagine Eddie Vedder hanging with Scott Weiland, going to a PRIMUS show.



+




-->

Exactly.

From The ALT Vault #1!

by: Jagga

Come Party with Me 2000' gets my vote for THE most underrated album OF ALL TIME. That's right, you heard it here. This album is pure genius and only those who can appreciate the warped sensibilites and wacko sense of humor that Gene and the gang bring to the table will understand. Premised on the idea that it's the quantity not the quality that count (how cool!), Gene Defcon's 'Come Party with Me' packs in 47 poppy/lo-li/garage rock-with-a-drum-machine blasts of sleazy goodness that's you'll never forget. A parody of info-mercial cheeseball no-budget compilations and greatist hits collections, this baby packs the hits, the laughs, and the beats with an underlying critique of commercialism.

Buy this shit now from Insound.

STAY ALT!!!

How Can I Be More ALT? (cont.)

Part 2 of 1: OLD SKOOL ALT SHOES FOR THE LADIES!!



by Starla

Since you asked for it, here's what the ALT ladies were rockin' on their feet in the prime ALT years (early-to-mid '90s) while tapping our toes to "Been Caught Stealing" and "Andre".

We too were wearing Chucks, but not the high top kind. We tended to sport the daintier, ankle-exposing low-tops as pictured here.




As M.I.A. has previously said (“Bought $20 shoes from Payless [Payless is almost the same as the Goodwill or Salvation Army...ALT!]”), shopping at Payless is totally ALT, and since my Mom was pretty ALT, that’s where my generic Chucks came from in 1994. They were navy blue and I covered them with Smashing Pumpkins lyrics like “Shut your mouth and strike the demons, cursed you and your reasons…” and friends’ phone numbers and peace signs and flowers. (I was still in that awkward phase between 1993 mall hippie and 1994 ALT rocker).

When not in Chucks, or fauxChucks in my case, many girls were wearing Mary Janes with baby doll dresses or ripped jeans with tights underneath.



Like Courtney Love!



Knee-high socks were also key! Man I wish you could see my shoes in this picture, but you can see I’ve got the requisite tights under my ripped jeans:



Army boots were also good for being ALT, as was the case for the boys. My ALT parents didn’t want to cough up the cash for genuine Doc Martins, so my boots were brown German Army boots I found at an Army surplus store. Though not as trendy at the time, those clunkers actually have had enormous staying power and are still a part of my ALT wardrobe to this day!


Check out Bling Kong's new Contraband and super ALTastic video, and maybe get yerself a hot date.

G' N' F' N' ALT N' R!!

Guys, just so you know...AXL(t) is ALT!!



I saw him at Misshapes and he's down with the scene!! He even has braids or cornrows, or whatever the hell those are...I also heard that a "Chinese Democracy" would be pretty freakin' ALT too! Along with white sweatshirts and acid wash jeans!!

Check out this new track, brought to you by Idolator!

Guns N' Roses- Better

Get ALT Tomorrow Night!

Broc Hudson and Paulie will be kickin' out the jams to get those asses shaking! Be sure to come by and get ALT with us! Plus did I mention drink specials? Yeah there will be lots of those (PBR is ALT as fuck!) YEAHHHH!

Impress Yr Friends!

M.I.A!'s ALT Fact Of The Day!!




Young ALT says to Older ALT: "Do you like Soundgarden?"
Older ALT retorts: "Dude, are you kidding? I've been listening to Soundgarden since you were like still wearing Pampers!"
Young ALT: "So I guess you know the story behind their name..."
Older ALT: "Duh, Chris and Kim were jamming and they were like, our sound totally bloomed like a flower in a garden...anybody who knows anything about anything knows THAT, loser!"
Young ALT: "Actually dude, they got it from this"
Older ALT: "umm, yeah I knew that, I was just testing you..."
Young ALT: "Whatever dude, you were just outshined"
Older ALT: "Well, at least I don't have an Offspring CD..."
Young ALT: "Whatever.."

How Can I Be More ALT?

Part 1: OLD SKOOL ALT SHOES!!

We have been getting lots of feedback from fans and admirers, but a reoccuring theme in most of our fan mail is, "M.I.A!, I've been living my life this whole thinking that I was ALT, but how can I be MORE ALT?". Well your friends at Mom, I'm ALT are here to lend a helping hand. In our first installment of "How Can I Be More ALT?" we are going to cover one of the most essential parts of being ALT...the footwear, old skool ALT footwear!

There are varying degrees of ALTness that can be determined by your shoes. Sounds silly, yes I know, but from one ALT to another, a lot can be told by the shoes you wear. A NEW SKOOL ALT can look at an OLD SKOOL ALT and tell right away that he/she must love Temple of the Dog, Oasis and the Spin Doctors. And an OLD SKOOL ALT can look at a NEW SKOOL ALT and say; he/she loves Interpol, Beirut and most definitely Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. I know this might sound crazy, but we will lay it all out for you right here:

OLD SKOOL ALT CLASSICS:

Doc Martins- come in a few selected colors, eyelet numbers and different lace colors. A force not to be reckoned with!

Chuck Taylor All-Stars- again come in different colors, hi-top/lo-top, and depending on how worn out they are, proves your degree of ALTness.

The all feared "Goth Boots" -no one knows what the hell is going on with these, not even the people wearing them. Use caution when in the presence of a pair these, whoever is wearing them are capable of doing something either crazy, but more likely, extremely retarded.

People that wear any of these definitely own CDs from the following bands, possibly even on vinyl and a true super ALT if they have any 7"s:




Stay tuned for the second half of part 1: NEW SKOOL ALT SHOES! YEAH BOI!

Jagga's Glossary:

ALTercation [awl-ter-key-shuhn] (n)- when ALTs from different underground (i.e not mainstream) scenes have a disagreement about their ALT-ness.
(ex: who is more ALT than the other)

“There was a slight ALTercation during my DJ set. These goons from the Death Cab show came and wanted to hear the latest Jens Lekman jam. I had my friend Thomas kick them out.”

ALT-ered Beast!

by: ALTernate on the 1992 ALTlympic Team

Launched in 1991, there was no more ALT video game console than the Sega Genesis. Nintendo and Atari both had their heyday the 80s (along with hair metal, cropped jeans, and perms), but the early 90s was the exclusive domain of Sega.

Super Nintendo was sort of like “Stone Temple Pilots” to the Genesis’ “Pearl Jam.” Sure, it was almost as ALT in retrospect, but no one that was truly ALT at the time took it seriously.



And while many remember Sonic the Hedgehog, the iconic side scrolling adventure akin to Super Mario on about 10 cups of Seattle-brewed coffee, the most ALT title of them all was the one that originally shipped with the console—ALTered Beast.

From Wikipedia:

Altered Beast is a platform/fighting game that puts the player in control of a centurion who had died in battle. The centurion has been raised from the dead to rescue Zeus' daughter, Athena. The player battles undead and demonic hordes, controlling the shapeshifting hero. He must defeat several levels in order to save the kidnapped goddess. The game takes place in a setting resembling Ancient Greece, complete with gods, temples and ruined Ionic columns.

But basically the game is about transforming into a beast that destroys zombies. In essence you must ALTer yourself to beat the game/destroy the zombies. In fact, the more ALT you become, the more powerful and awesome you are. This game, more than that hippie mushroom eater Mario, teaches a valuable life lesson.

For example, getting some Docs and flannel would make you pretty ALT. Getting some Manic Panic and dying yer hair blue would make you even more ALT. However, to truly reach the pinnacle of ALT-dom, one must get some piercings and tatoos, so as to be invincible against the zombies (mindless jocks and preps, see also: “mains”).

So, to conclude: transform yourself into an ALT beast, or become a Zombie.

CHIA-BRITNEY....So Fucking ALT!

As a recent purchaser of a Chia Elephant (elephants are old school alt, horses are the more recent alt animal), I am blown away by just how alt britney is. I mean, seriously , who knew? I'm going to listen to ...Baby One More Time on repeat for the rest of the day. YEAH BOI!!

Here's a great Justice Edit of Me Against the World. Britney Spears...So Fucking Alt! Courtesy of Palms Out Sounds (one of my favorites!)

Britney Spears- Me Against the World (Justice Edit)

Britney Goes BALT!!

***!!!BREAKING NEWS!!!***





So, I mentioned BALT in an early post, but after hearing about this shocking news, I can only come to one conclusion. Britney Spears (completely MAIN) reads "Mom, I'm ALT" and wants to be ALT. The only way she could accomplish this.....become a BALT.

Britney, you now join the ranks of some of the greatest BALTs of all-time. Congrats!!